Watching: Deadwood Season 1

Reading: The Times

Listening: Cymbals Eat Guitars

Loving: Not much

Hating: My eating habits as of late

Irritated: Morning time

There have been many conversations as of late, usually began with my inquiry on the topic of purpose. Logically, I'm having a pre-liminal-time baby meltdown. In other words, now what? I know this is a common thing with graduating peers, but I was always prepared. Now, not so much. Either way, all this is causing a lot of aggravation and like usual displaced anger.

Topics:

1. The Genius onset right before dozing off

2. Inner-mologues and their scary conclusions

3. Self-diagnosis: the Americanization of mental health

4. Fried Chicken, tastes good feels bad

So does anyone else, right before they go to sleep, have moments of true genius? For example, Friday night right before sleep I made a coherent, rhyming poem. I mean the whole verse rhymed perfectly, and it was clever. Can't remember it worth a shit though, solutions?

Having conversations with oneself is said to be good, I think when there is an investigation about a certain aspect of oneself along the lines of "Why did I say that to that person?" "I wonder why I did that? I can tell you why because this and that" and so on. It's not necessarily a conscious or is it? I mean the case to me is never cracked. Actually, most of the time like a good little empiricist, I ask around "Daniel was that right?" one tally mark for "no" and so on. When will I be able, or anyone else able to answer their own questions about themselves? I've undergone deep insight from various sources, and I know about the universe but nada about me. Solutions?

My friend suffers from what seems to me as high anxiety, but I'm no doctor. Then again the mental health care providers are no real help anyways (at least to me). So what to do about growing anxiety about anxiety? The mental image that comes to mind is a mouse trapped in a mazed box. Does one have to jump up and out? P jump up and out!

This one is not a metaphor. I ate friend chicken and it was finger licking good. Then I felt like complete shit. Is it worth it? Solutions?

These are the musings of the past couple days, real issues I've been grappling with. Solutions?