Jumping into the Sidewalk

Mary Poppins was hands down my favorite film to watch as a child. Why? Can't tell you. Perhaps it was the interaction between cartoons and real life, umbrellas, musicals, poor kids vs rich kids, the pigeon lady. Either way whenever I felt weird my mother would pop in the vhs and away I went.

My favorite scene was when the chimney sweeper degenerate with a heart of gold, Dick Van Dyke let those snobby kids and their oddball nanny jump into the sidewalk made of chalk. I find that so endearing. A rabbit hole I've been looking for ever sense.

You Do it to Yourself

I hate circles.

Here's an awesome podcast.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/features/in-our-time/

I have had a good old reckless week, no yoga, barely reading, nada. But lo, good things come to those who slack. I'm not too sure about this certain idea, it sounds a little whimsical, but I've always been a sucker for that. Either way the idea of a cyclical life with a million do-overs sounds fantastic. I swear I felt like I was walking on clouds for a minute there. Hmmm yes.

The Priest

At the coffee shop, just finished listening to a priest console a girl trying desperately not to slip into cynicism, and from what I gathered this whole thing started because her best friend (a dude) did something or another. It was grueling listening to all these "well Jesus did this" and "idolatry that." No no priest your dated examples won't do. I would've said (and I am no priest) that yes your friend screwed you over, and you ignored that fault and you didn't confront, because you're scared of the truth. Maybe he got sick of how judgie you are and that he's moved on to less meek people. That man just solidified this lack of backbone and even applauded it. Hmm, she needs cynicism even a little bit, we all do. You know why? Because the intuitive thing to do when one screws you over is to blame yourself, and that's not always the case. There was no solution except acceptance, but he let her blather on and on, to no avail. This priest was ineffective. I feel sorry for the whole thing.

Mind Matter Stuff

This philosophy paper I've been working on has taken a turn for the worst. Beyond Cartesian oblivion to be exact. I have entered Michael and I's realm of the post-modern, what is, is what could not be. Like and square peg (that's actual just the word peg) in a round hole (that you can experiment in). This proves nothing to me, except the dissolution of modernity. Either way this is a picture of Michael having a philo-fart. Also, today I watched the Hunter S. Thompson documentary and was a little terrified about how much I relate, and not in the cool literary way. "Finnigan's Wake" is the proper name yo.

Peanuts and Mustard

Look at what Michael's doing...

Wine,etc

Went to Sage's Patz and Hall dinner everything was delicious Terry received accolades while the wine paled in comparison.

I'm reading at the moment, under the encouragement of Michael Borges' non-fiction.

I made a mix that corresponds with my moods right now. So Daniel suck it I like "conceptual" mixes. It's really fun when you've forgotten that mostly every song, with lyrics, is about heartbreak.

1.Camera Obscura-Lloyd I'm ready to be heartbroken

2.Future Islands-Walking through that door

3.Surfer Blood-Harmonix

4.Hot Chip-Hand me down your love

5.Rocketship-Friendships and love

6.Kings of Convenience-Misread

7.St.Vincent-The party

8.Deerhunter-VHS Dream

9.Throw Me the Statue-Snowshoes

Ukrainian Cigarettes

Okay...that up there is Daniel's long awaited Ukrainian Cigarettes

Watching: Ghostbusters II

Reading: Text books

Listening: Throw Me the Statue: Snowshoes & Kings of Convenience:Misread

Loving: Resilience

Hating: Breaking Up

Irritated: Not much

So this is a big deal. Zach and I are no longer dating. I write about it not to gossip, but that man has been part of my life on and off for a year and change. I'll miss him for sure, however it was amicable so friends? Perhaps down the road. I'll say this, for all the good times and all the bad times, we made it work for a long long time. No more tears. Having had some experience in this awkward liminality I know how to handle this particular situation.

Its like a divorce you can have our bars on the weekdays, in exchange for my exclusive use of our coffee shop (you have a frenchpress anyways). I'll take St.mikes for the weekend, every other weekend. No more bowling for me, until this blows over and perhaps out of courtesy avoid using Duval street, because after all I can hear your car coming from blocks away. As for food spots, avoid Tomatoland weekdays from 12-3pm, you can have a meatloaf sandwich after that time and don't even think about Sage from Friday-Sunday. Oh, and the Mexican lunchcart is fair game. Since I get the coffee shop, if I ever crave the Tap I'll get it to go, or perhaps quickly gulp a two-for-one margarita. I think I've covered all my bases, and it's a fair trade whatever that is.

Know this Zachary Ramsey: I love you and want you to head in whichever direction you choose with confidence that whatever it is you want out of this life, you will obtain it. Rage on.

Moving through a dense physical world, I do not command a clear vision of myself.

Watching: Deadwood Season 1

Reading: The Times

Listening: Cymbals Eat Guitars

Loving: Not much

Hating: My eating habits as of late

Irritated: Morning time

There have been many conversations as of late, usually began with my inquiry on the topic of purpose. Logically, I'm having a pre-liminal-time baby meltdown. In other words, now what? I know this is a common thing with graduating peers, but I was always prepared. Now, not so much. Either way, all this is causing a lot of aggravation and like usual displaced anger.

Topics:

1. The Genius onset right before dozing off

2. Inner-mologues and their scary conclusions

3. Self-diagnosis: the Americanization of mental health

4. Fried Chicken, tastes good feels bad

So does anyone else, right before they go to sleep, have moments of true genius? For example, Friday night right before sleep I made a coherent, rhyming poem. I mean the whole verse rhymed perfectly, and it was clever. Can't remember it worth a shit though, solutions?

Having conversations with oneself is said to be good, I think when there is an investigation about a certain aspect of oneself along the lines of "Why did I say that to that person?" "I wonder why I did that? I can tell you why because this and that" and so on. It's not necessarily a conscious or is it? I mean the case to me is never cracked. Actually, most of the time like a good little empiricist, I ask around "Daniel was that right?" one tally mark for "no" and so on. When will I be able, or anyone else able to answer their own questions about themselves? I've undergone deep insight from various sources, and I know about the universe but nada about me. Solutions?

My friend suffers from what seems to me as high anxiety, but I'm no doctor. Then again the mental health care providers are no real help anyways (at least to me). So what to do about growing anxiety about anxiety? The mental image that comes to mind is a mouse trapped in a mazed box. Does one have to jump up and out? P jump up and out!

This one is not a metaphor. I ate friend chicken and it was finger licking good. Then I felt like complete shit. Is it worth it? Solutions?

These are the musings of the past couple days, real issues I've been grappling with. Solutions?